The police may think they are helping you or protecting you by not telling you the details of the final moments in the life of your loved one or by not showing you photographs of the injuries. Listen to their advice but then make up your own mind if you really want this information. We are all individuals and have different needs. It is almost impossible for a police officer to know or to predict what information you desperately want.

Suggestions

• Consider what information would be helpful to you.

• Consider what information would be devastating.

• Make sure you have supports in place (family, friends, counselling).

• Ask the questions you want answered.

• Be persistent.

• Ask to be directed to someone else for answers (e.g. the Medical Examiner can answer questions about the death.)

• Don’t assume you will be told everything you need to know.

• Know your boundaries. It’s okay to walk away and to come back, if and when you are ready.

• You are in control of how much information you go after.

Mennonite Central Committee Canada. (2011). Getting through the maze: A guidebook for survivors of homicide.